The facts on my best friends mom, is that for a woman her age, she was dynamite. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nice body, were all the components for a knock out woman. When I got home that night from a nice night out, she kept running through my mind like a washer machine on spin cycle. I didn’t know what to think about the situation. So to break myself from this chain, I decided to give her a call. We talked for about a half hour making my thoughts a little less deceiving. After I got off the phone with her, I packed my stuff up and just went to bed. The next day I decided to take a trip out to her house to see how she was holding up from the events that had proceeded her. I called her about five minutes before I got there, just to make sure she was home. When she knew it was me calling to come over, she sounded like she had a little pep in her step. “Yeah, I’m here. Just come on over. I haven’t seen a friendly face in so long over here.”, she claimed. As I was traveling along the. ”I lay on the floor wracked with post-orgasmic cramps and panicky with feelings of loss.--Work occupied the rest of Sunday. I avoided Matthew in my office but kept tabs on his whereabouts, too. I would panic that he had left me if I didn't hear him walking around downstairs, or clinking dishes in the kitchen every once in a while. My dread of abandonment didn't fade, either. Matthew remained grounded that Monday but I had to work. I accomplished nothing. I could only think how unmoored Matthew and I were and how he had all day to pack, to call his lawyer, to leave. Worse than loosing him would be knowing I deserved to.By the afternoon guilt, humiliation, and fear of abandonment turned to anger. Mostly with myself, but also at Matthew for the way he’d treated me. Rough sex or even his course, objectifying words, I could handle. His refusal to talk about us, grated. I left at three, unable to work and unwilling to spend a minute more torturing myself, imagining him packing his bags. My.
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